Landscapers Song of Lament

Poetry is often an outlet for expressing the emotions that wax and wane as a result of interpersonal relationship. With all the planting that goes on in the fall, I thought I'd share a series of botanical poetry and prose that might help others as they interact with both their plants and those that help them plant:


Landscaper’s Song of Lament
(with apologies to Joyce Kilmer)

I think that I shall never see
A sight as maddening as a tree
That I installed with care applied,
Was left un-watered until it died.
Or pansies planted in the fall
And then I get the random call,
“You said these flowers would last through freeze!”
I say, “This week it HAS been 12 degrees,
Of course they’re lying on the ground.
Next week at 50° watch them rebound.”
Then you have the West Coast guy
Who’ll plant the rose and wonder why
The leaves are eaten and not spot free.
Welcome, friend, to Tennessee!
Spring annuals provide a gorgeous display
But I’m sure to get the call of dismay:
By midsummer, the flowers look weak
“Could you come by the house and take a peek?”
No pinching was done or the rabbits have feed,
Aphids are present and fungus has spread.
No maintenance was wanted to add to the cost
So a full season’s color could be easily lost.
By late July they SHOULD realize
The need to water and to go fertilize!
There are folks who want shade plants to grow in full sun,
Bamboo to stay put, and their ivy not run.
They want something that, “Blooms all year
And never needs pruning - can we do that here?”
They want grandma’s peony that they’ve had since ‘05
In the garage in a bucket to be planted and thrive.
The most trying folks to deal with I’ve found
Are the ones who insist that the have all around
The biggest and fullest - a yard instantly grand;
But the cost for that they don’t quite understand.
Yes, gardens are planted by fools like me -
God, help all my clients not think that it’s free!