Around The Garden World - Day 17

 In my quest to view all types of gardens, this one grabbed my eye. While walking with my daughter-in-love around her neighborhood, we saw this in the front of a home in Richmond, Virginia. Sweet Caitlin had been patiently waiting as I took pictures of front yard gardens and tried to sneak peeks at backyard gardens. As we came upon this, she looked at me and said, "These.... look.... fake?"

 Yep, these are the type of flowers that my clients keep asking me for - always blooming, never need water, never need to be deadheaded, and attention grabbing.

Uh, huh - plastic. Definitely got our attention. And our laughter.

 And they did have these almost plastic looking peppers that were growing right next to their authentic plastic flowers.

 I guess because they don't have any gardening expenses they can buy this really car.  (or at least have a really cool car parked next to their home)

Sometimes What I Say Doesn't Always Come Out What I Mean...

Borrowed from my funny friend, Jan Bills

"God and Lawncare" - Author unknown

My friend Linda Mello sent me this. Working in the landscaping business, one of my objectives is to re-educate folks about their landscape care. I don't know who wrote this but I love how it sums up many of the principles I want to get across!

GOD AND LAWN CARE

God said:    "Frank, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there on the planet? What happened to the dandelions, violets, milkweeds and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But, all I see are these green rectangles." St. FRANCIS: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers 'weeds' and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass. GOD: Grass? But, it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees; only grubs and sod worms. It's sensitive to temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there? ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn. GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy. ST. FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it-sometimes twice a week. GOD: They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay? ST.. FRANCIS: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags. GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it? ST. FRANCIS: No, Sir, just the opposite. They pay to throw it away. GOD: Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And, when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away? ST. FRANCIS: Yes, Sir. GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work. ST.. FRANCIS: You aren't going to believe this, Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it, so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it. GOD: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn, they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. It's a natural cycle of life. ST.. FRANCIS: You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away. GOD: No!? What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter to keep the soil moist and loose? ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves. GOD: And where do they get this mulch? ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch. GOD: Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight? ST.. CATHERINE: 'Dumb and Dumber', Lord. It's a story about.... GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.

To My Darling Husband (and all the other garden widowers)

You are not alone.
I read this in No Dig Garden Blog and just had to pass it on. I'm thinking my husband must have written this, even though his name is not Peter and I'm not sure he knows anything about poetry.

My Wife the Gardener

~ Peter (poem found in old magazine)

She dug the plot on Monday –
the soil was rich and fine,
She forgot to thaw out dinner –
so we went out to dine...
She planted roses Tuesday –
she says they are a must,
They really are quite lovely
but she quite forgot to dust.
On Wednesday it was daisies –
they opened up with sun,
All whites and pinks and yellows –
but the laundry wasn’t done...
The poppies came on Thursday -
a bright and cherry red,
I guess she really was engrossed –
she never made the bed...
It was violets on Friday –
in colours she adores,
It never bothered her at all –
all crumbs upon the floors
I hired a maid on Saturday –
my week is now complete,
My wife can garden all she wants –
the house will still be neat!
It’s nearly lunchtime Sunday –
and I cannot find the maid,
Oh no! I don’t believe it!
She’s out there WITH THE SPADE!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Multi-cultural Communications

I have an incredible staff. My right hand gal, Yelena Petruk, is creative and hardworking; Luis and Armondo are as obsessive as I am about bed prep and layout, and they make sure that the rest of the guys work as hard as they do. But having an international staff has led to some interesting communications. Yelena is from the Ukraine, Luis and Armondo and crew are from Mexico, and my husband - the airline pilot - flies all over the world. Ok, the last part doesn't actually count for me having an international staff but thought it makes me sound a little more multi-cultural. Here's an example yesterday of the often funny misunderstandings that occur between my deep southern accent, Yelena's Russian accent, and Latino broken English:

We had just finished putting up Christmas decoration at one of the developments I work in and Yelena, Luis, and I were standing back to inspect all the work. Yelena says, "Du zu lock de door?". Luis, "Do I need to lock door?" Me, "The door locks by itself at 8 tonight." Yelena looks at me perturbed, "No, du - zu - lock - de - door?" Luis, "I go lock attic door." Me, "Remember, I locked the attic when we were finished putting all the boxes away." Yelena, now really giving me a disgusted look, points to the front door, "Du zu lock (like) how I decorated de front door?" Finally getting her question, and after I stopped laughing and explained to a still bewildered Luis who was worried that he'd forgotten to lock something, I told Yelena that I really did LIKE the door. Check out her handy-work and let me know how you "lock de door"!